


Set Adrift On Memory Bliss Of You

by Harryskiwiposes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst if you REALLY squint, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, M/M, Possibly the fluffiest fic ever, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 08:26:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15092975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harryskiwiposes/pseuds/Harryskiwiposes
Summary: Louis shouldn’t have been surprised that Harry had kept the second note after seeing the first one, but he was. He had long forgotten about the original post-it notes, but for some reason Harry felt the need for Louis to see them now.OR - The Post-It Note Fic





	Set Adrift On Memory Bliss Of You

**Author's Note:**

> So here goes…..
> 
> I wouldn’t even be posting this fic without the unconditional love and support of the most amazing gc ever, the Stage B Bitches. K, S, A - words cannot describe how much you all mean to me. Thank you for putting up with my craziness, for talking me down when I’m on the edge, for letting me ramble for hours on end about pretty much nothing, for making me believe in myself. I don’t know what I did to deserve you all, this one’s for you bitches.
> 
> K - Thank you for being the most wonderful beta ever (sorry not sorry for making you cry!) I can’t remember what my life was like before you were in it and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
> 
> Title comes from “Set Adrift On Memory Bliss” by P.M. Dawn.
> 
> I own nothing except the words (and mistakes) written below.
> 
> Please do not repost this anywhere. I am not allowing for any reposts or translations. Thank you for understanding.
> 
> Without further ado…..
> 
> Enjoy!

****************************

“Harry? I’m home!”

Louis opened the front door, expecting to find his house alive with sounds, sights and, hopefully - smells. He was looking forward to catching Harry cooking dinner, singing and dancing along to some pop song on the radio in his ridiculously adorable ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron. Or possibly snuggled under his favorite blanket on the couch, catching up on one of the TV shows from his ‘to watch’ list on Netflix. Or maybe even sitting in his favorite chair, reading the latest NYT best seller by the fireplace, with their cat Rosie curled up in Harry’s lap.

What he wasn’t expecting to come home to was a dark, quiet house.

To say Louis was disappointed was a complete understatement. He’d been away from home for 4 days on a business trip on the other side of the country and all he wanted after a 6 hour flight (plus the 20 minute Uber ride home) was to be welcomed home by his boyfriend. Welcomed with a ‘hello.’ Welcomed with a kiss. Welcomed with something.

Instead, he had been welcomed with silence.

He pulled out his phone, double checking to make sure that he hadn’t missed a text or a phone call from Harry. Nothing. He shoved the phone into his pocket and called out once more.

“Harry?” Again, no response.

Louis sighed as he pulled the keys out of the door and closed it behind him. He was left in almost complete darkness. The only light in the house was coming from the street light outside shining into the living room window, casting shadows on the walls and furniture.

He dropped his bag onto the floor next to him, slipping his shoes off and kicking them to the side. He threw his keys onto the front hall table and ran his fingers through his hair, brushing his fringe off of his forehead as he moved further into the room.

Having lived in the same house with Harry for the past 4 years, Louis knew the layout of their living room like the back of his hand. Which meant that he was able to cross the room easily in the dark, making his way to the light switch on the wall.

As he blindly reached out to flip the switch, his fingers touched something. He turned to see what it was and was surprised to find a post-it note covering the light switch. He pulled off the bright yellow note and flipped the switch. The living room lit up and after his eyes adjusted to the light, he was able to read what was written on the note.

He was hoping Harry had left him a note explaining where he’d gone and why he wasn’t at home to welcome Louis back.

But why hadn’t he just called or texted Louis to let him know he had decided to go out?

Harry hadn’t mentioned having any plans when they had spoken that morning before Louis’ flight. In fact, they’d both been looking forward to an evening at home, catching up with each other after being apart for several days. And if Louis was honest, he was craving Harry’s touch and was longing to touch Harry.

Instead what Louis read shocked him. He was so shocked that he needed to read it three times before he was actually able to process what it said.

It was the note he had given to Harry when they were both 7 and in the 1st grade. Louis had no idea that Harry had kept it all these years. And, not only that, but that Harry had kept it in such good condition.

_Louis remembered the day he handed Harry the note. It was the first day of school and Harry had just moved to Connecticut from Florida because of his father’s job. That meant Harry was the new kid in school. And because Harry’s last name came right before Louis’ alphabetically, Harry was assigned to the seat directly in front of Louis._

_As Harry took his seat in front of Louis, Louis saw that Harry had a head of brown curls, adorable dimples, a smile that could light up any room and Louis wanted to be his friend more than anything._

_Louis, however, was shy and not one to approach a stranger, even if that stranger was only 7 years-old and so days went by without so much as him uttering a single word in Harry’s direction. Louis was getting anxious that someone else was going to approach Harry first and ask him to be their friend. And so finally on the fourth day of school, Louis couldn’t take it anymore and decided to write him a note._

_He waited for the right time and when the teacher had her back turned to the class, Louis quickly passed it to Harry. He had written “will you be my friend?” and had included a ‘yes’ box and a ‘no’ box to be checked. Harry turned around to look at him and Louis flashed his biggest, boldest smile. Harry turned back around to face the front of the class and Louis’ heart sank._

_This was not the reaction that he had been hoping and wishing for. He put his head down on his desk, feeling rejected, and sighed._

_A few moments later Louis felt something on his hand and when he looked up it was the post-it note - Harry had stuck it to Louis’ hand. Louis peeled it off, eager to see which box Harry had selected._

_Louis couldn’t contain his excitement when he saw that Harry had checked ‘yes.’ Louis looked up to find Harry smiling at him and Louis knew at that moment that he would be willing to do anything to be able to see Harry smile that big and bright every single day._

_At lunch that day the two boys sat next to each other and Louis gave Harry back the note, telling him to keep it so that Harry would always have a reminder of Louis and the start of their friendship._

_And from that day forward, Louis and Harry had been inseparable._

Louis couldn’t hide his smile while remembering the day that Harry had become his very best friend. He looked around the house, wondering why Harry had left him the post-it note. It seemed completely out of place in the otherwise orderly room. He called out Harry’s name again, but as expected, got no answer in response.

Louis was just about to go to the kitchen to grab something to eat and call Harry when he saw what looked like another post-it note out of the corner of his eye. He turned towards the stairs and saw it stuck to the newel post of the stairs leading to the second floor. He walked over to the bottom of the stairs and to the post. He noticed that the post-it note was green this time as he peeled it off.

He looked at the note and beamed. This was the note that he had given to Harry when they were both 15 and in the 9th grade. Louis shouldn’t have been surprised that Harry had kept the second note after seeing the first one, but he was. He had long forgotten about the original post-it notes, but for some reason Harry felt the need for Louis to see them now.

They had been the best of friends for 8 years, from the day Louis had given Harry the first post-it note and they had done pretty much everything together. If you were looking for Louis, he was bound to be with Harry and vice versa.

From going on vacations with each other’s families, to spending holidays together, to sleeping over at each other’s house, to the sports that they played - they were constantly in each other’s company.

But the most important thing that they had done together that year, was to come out as gay. Louis felt himself getting a little teary as he remembered the day leading up to him giving Harry this post-it note.

_It was a sunny spring Saturday afternoon and they had been at the park, kicking a soccer ball around, getting some extra practice in before the following week’s championship game. Louis could see that Harry was distracted, like he had something on his mind that was weighing him down. Harry couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything and kept missing shots, which wasn’t like him at all._

_Louis thought maybe Harry was worried about the game or about their math final that was quickly approaching. He suggested that they take a break and they walked over to where their bags were to eat lunch. But before Louis had even opened his, Harry blurted out “I’m gay.”_

_Louis turned to his best friend, who was now crying._

_“I....I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore.” Harry sobbed out._

_Louis was speechless. Not be friends with Harry? Harry was his very best friend, his confidant, his everything and he could never picture them not being friends. He could never in a million years even fathom a day going by without being in Harry’s presence. He could never imagine not picking up the phone to call Harry when he had good news to share. He could never imagine Harry not being the shoulder that he leaned on when things were bad._

_Louis wasn’t sure what to say and Harry could sense that. After a moment, Harry continued. “I just.... I just wanted you to know. We promised that we’d never keep any secrets from each other and I - “_

_Louis held up his hand and motioned for Harry to stop. Harry looked puzzled, but stopped talking._

_They stood in silence for a few moments, just staring at each other and then Louis started laughing._

_“Louis? Are you laughing? Oh my god, are you laughing at me?” Harry put his hands on his hips and raised his voice, his tone becoming angry. “You’re kidding me, right?”_

_“I’m sorry but this is funny.”_

_“Excuse me?! This is not funny. I have been waiting weeks for the right time to tell you and have been stressed out over your reaction. I haven’t been able to sleep and I certainly haven’t been able to eat and I finally tell you and this is the response that I get? I thought you’d at least be a little understanding, maybe show a little compassion. But laughing? Laughing was by far the last thing I’d expect from you.”_

_“I’m not laughing at that. I’m laughing because I was going to tell you that I’m gay.”_

_“What?”_

_“You heard me. I’m gay.”_

_Harry’s mouth opened. “But you can’t be gay, I’m gay.”_

_Louis giggled. “Really?”_

_“Shut up, you know what I mean.”_

_Louis crossed his arms in front of him. “Harry listen to me. I’ve known for a while that you’re gay and I’ve been waiting for you to be ready to tell me and I would never stop being your friend, especially over this.”_

_“You’ve known for a while, how?”_

_“Every time we watch Titanic you make comments about wanting to be Rose. Every time we watch The Notebook you make comments about wanting to be Allie. Whenever we go to a football game you check out the players, not the cheerleaders. It was pretty evident you were more into guys, so it wasn’t hard to figure out.”_

_“Why didn’t you say something? Anything? Why didn’t you tell me you’re gay before now?” Harry asked._

_“I knew you weren’t ready to tell me yet and that you would tell me when you were ready to. And - I was going to tell you today.”_

_Harry smiled. “We really do do everything together, don’t we?”_

_Louis nodded. “I actually....I have something to give you.” He reached into the front of his bag and pulled out a green post-it note. “I’ve been carrying this around for a while. Here.”_

_Louis handed it to Harry and hung his head, not able to watch as Harry read it._

_“I need a pen.” Harry said softly._

_Louis looked up. Harry’s green eyes met his blue eyes. Harry nodded slowly. Louis fumbled around in his gym bags and after what seemed like an eternity, managed to find a black sharpie and handed it to Harry._

_Louis watched as Harry wrote something, then closed the marker and handed it plus the note back to Louis._

_Louis read the post-it note. He had written “will you go out with me?” and had included a ‘yes’ box and a ‘no’ box. Harry had checked ‘yes’ and had written “I thought you’d never ask” underneath it._

_When Louis looked back up at Harry, he was smiling, which made Louis smile in return._

_They finished their lunches and played soccer for a few hours longer, Harry’s concentration restored back to normal. When they left the park that day, they excitedly began making plans for their first date. Louis reached over and took Harry's hand, Harry who made him feel safe. Feel happy. Feel like home._

Louis looked down at the green post-it note that was in his hand. He was beginning to get emotional from the memories that the post-it notes were bringing up. Why had Harry left them for Louis to find? And more importantly, where was Harry?

He placed it on top of the yellow one that he was still holding and looked up to the second floor.

“Har-“ Louis called out. He stopped when he saw that the hall leading up to the second floor was covered in post-it notes.

Louis was speechless at the sight of the hundreds and hundreds of colorful post-it notes that he had given to Harry over their years together. He made his way closer and reached out to touch each and every one as he walked up the stairs.

The notes towards the bottom of the stairs were extremely silly, like the one that read “will you let me have your apple?” that Louis passed him one day at lunch in the 3rd grade. He saw the one that he gave Harry in the 4th grade that read “will you give me the answer to question 2. He laughed when he saw the one that read “will you let me watch Grease tonight for the 28 millionth time?”

As he made his way up the stairs the notes started to become a bit more serious and Louis could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he read them. Like the one that he had slipped to Harry one afternoon while they were studying in the library that read “will you please kiss me?” He touched the one that read “will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” that he had passed to Harry one night while they were watching a movie in Louis’ bed. He remembered giving Harry the light blue post-it note, reading “will you go to the prom with me?” their senior year of high school.

Louis felt a few tears roll down his cheeks as he made his way to the notes at the top of the stairs. He simply couldn’t believe that Harry can kept every single post-it note that Louis had ever given to him. Reading them brought back memories of his early days with Harry, how much he loved Harry and how much he enjoyed the life that they had built together so far.

He picked a light pink post-it note of the wall and read it, wiping his tears away. It was one that Louis had given to Harry when they were 18 and in the 12th grade.

It had been a rough time in Louis’ life. His parents were going through a very nasty and very heated divorce. Louis, his younger sister Lottie and his mom moved out of his childhood home and into an apartment across town. His mom had had to go back to work, leaving Louis and his sister home alone often. Family dinners were a thing of the past and Louis was having a difficult time adjusting to his new normal.

_Harry had been over one afternoon, to help Louis unpack boxes and set up his new bedroom. Harry was emptying a box labeled “school shit” when he came across Louis’ stash of multi-colored post-it notes._

_“Lou, what’s this?” He asked, holding up a light pink post-it note._

_Louis looked towards Harry. “What? Oh, umm nothing.” He reached out to grab it out of Harry’s hand, but Harry pulled his hand back, making Louis miss._

_“It’s not nothing.”_

_Louis tried grabbing it again, insisting, “it’s nothing. Just drop it Harry. In fact just throw it out.”_

_Harry pushed Louis back onto the bed and climbed into his lap. Louis put his hands on Harry’s thighs as Harry straddled him. “I’m not going to drop it and I’m certainly not going to just throw it out. Lou, look at me. Baby, talk to me.” Harry said softly, his hands caressing Louis’ face._

_Louis shook his head. “It’s stupid.”_

_“It’s not stupid. It’s obviously something that’s been on your mind and been bothering you and I’d really like to know why.”_

_Louis slowly looked up and met Harry’s eyes. They were so soft and so green and Louis could see the love in them, making him emotional._

_“Louis, talk to me. Why would you write something like this? Why would you ask ‘will you love me forever?’ You know that I will.”_

_Louis took a deep breath. Harry let him have all the time he needed before Louis started explaining._

_“It’s just this whole thing with my parents. They made promises to each other and look at them now. They promised to love and cherish each other and look what’s happened to them. They can’t even stand to be in the same room as each other.” Louis began sobbing and closed his eyes as the tears that had welled up began to fall. “They were so in love. They had a life, a beautiful life and they had a family together and my dad threw it all away to sleep with someone half his age. He just gave up everything and now my parents hate each other. What hope is there for us? We’re only 18 Harry, we’re going away to different colleges next year. Things happen, most people drift apart.”_

_Harry began wiping Louis’ tears away with his thumbs. “We are not most people, you should know that by now.”_

_“Har-“ Louis started before being interrupted._

_“Wait! Are you….? Louis do you want to…...? Are we breaking up?”_

_“What? No! Harry! Of course not! I’m….just….Why would-“_

_“Do you love me?” Harry asked._

_“What? How could you ask that? Of course I love you, I tell you that all the time.”_

_“I know that you tell me all the time and I tell you all the time, but I don’t tell you.”_

_Harry paused for a moment before continuing. “Do you love me with a love that you can’t explain? A love that can’t be described? A love that knows no boundaries? Do you have to work at loving me or does it just come as naturally as breathing? Do you love me on the sucky days, when nothing seems to be going right, when you just want to cry and lock yourself in your room? Do you love me on the good days, when everything is coming up roses, when you’re on top of the world? Do you love me when I’m being silly? Being stupid? Being annoying? Being wonderful? Do you love me at my best? Do you love me at my worst?”_

_Louis was crying now, Harry’s hands still cupping his face. Louis reached his hands under Harry’s shirt, gripping Harry’s hips, needing to feel Harry’s skin. Needing to make sure that Harry was real. That Louis wasn’t imaging this conversation, that he wasn’t dreaming it all up in his head._

_“Because THAT. That is how I love you, Louis. I love you with such a fierceness, such a fire, such a passion that some days it scares me and overwhelms me, suffocates me. Did I ever tell you about the moment I just knew that you were the love of my life? The moment I knew that I loved you and would love you for the rest of my life?”_

_Louis shook his head. Harry leaned down and kissed each of Louis’ cheeks and his forehead._

_“It happened two summers ago.”_

_Louis looked up at Harry with a puzzling look. “Two summers ago? But we only said it a few months ago.” he said softly._

_Harry smiled. “Yea I know, but I’ve felt it a lot longer than just a few months.”_

_“Why didn’t you say something?”_

_Harry shrugged. “I was scared. Scared that you didn’t feel the same. Or if you did that it wasn’t as intense as what I was feeling. Anyway, we were at the community pool, swimming and diving and hanging out with Sam and Charlie. We had just eaten lunch and were sitting in the grass.”_

_Harry stopped to see if Louis recalled. He continued when he saw that Louis hadn’t yet, so he continued._

_“You saw a little boy standing to the side of us, all alone. He was about 4 years old and he was crying for his mother and you got up and walked over to him. I watched as you talked to him and comforted him and picked him up. I watched as you walked him over to the lifeguard and tried to hand him over. I watched as the little boy clung to you, his arms wrapped around your neck, not wanting to be let go. I watched as you rubbed his back, whispering reassuring words to him. I watched as you held him until his mom came, frantically reaching out for him. I watched as you handed him over to her and then as she hugged you, crying and thanking you. I watched all of this and I knew that moment that I loved you. That was the moment I knew I wanted to marry you. That was the moment I knew that I wanted to raise a family with you. That was the moment I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. That was the moment I knew that I would love you every single day for the rest of my life.”_

_Harry felt Louis reach up and wipe his tears away. “I should have told you that day. I should have. I wanted to. I wanted to scream out to the heavens how happy I was, how proud I was, how lucky I was that you were my boyfriend and how much I loved you. I chickened out that day. But, Louis, I’m not chicken anymore. I am so happy and proud to be with you and I intend to tell you every single day for the rest of my life. You make me want to be a better person. You make me want to dream bigger, aim higher, love deeper. I love you Louis William Tomlinson and I am so unbelievably, undeniably in love with you. And to answer your post-it note, I will love you forever if you’ll let me. I would be honored to love you forever. I would be proud to love you forever. Will you let me? Will you let me love you forever? Please let me. Please, Louis, let me love you, please._

_Louis couldn’t see through the tears that were streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks. He reached up and grabbed Harry’s face, pulling him down close and crashing their lips together. Harry ran his hands through Louis’ hair, resting them on the back of his neck, gripping him tightly._

_“Love me,” Louis whispered into Harry’s mouth. “Love me. Please. Please Harry. Please love me.”_

_He kept repeating ‘please’ over and over again as Harry moved his hands down to the hem of Louis’ shirt. They broke the kiss as Harry pulled Louis’ shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor and gently pushing him back on the bed. Harry bent forward, leaning over Louis, his hands on either side of Louis’ head. They were silent for a moment, each scanning the other’s eyes._

_“Lou,” Harry whispered._

_Louis nodded, giving Harry the answer to the unasked question on both of their minds._

_Harry leaned forward, licking into Louis’ mouth, probing with his tongue. Louis grabbed onto Harry’s forearms and lost himself in the kiss. Lost himself in the taste of Harry, who tasted like cherry soda. Like m &m’s. Like home._

Louis brushed the tears from his eyes as he remembered that afternoon in his room. It was the first time that they had been vulnerable with each other. The first time Louis had truly and completely let Harry in - into his heart, into his soul and into his body.

They had made love for the first time that day, in Louis’ bedroom, among half empty boxes and piles of laundry.

It had been sloppy. It had been quick. It had been awkward.

It had been perfect.

Louis replaced the post-it note on the wall among the others that were hanging. He brushed his fingers through his hair, wiped his eyes again and sniffled. What in the world was Harry up to? Why was Louis being sent on this trip down memory lane?

He looked into the spare bedroom that was at the top of the stairs. It was dark but Louis didn’t think anything looked out of place.

He turned to walk down the hallway towards the master bedroom. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the red post-it note stuck to the door that lead to their laundry room.

If there was one post-it note that Louis remembered perfectly, it was definitely the sole red one. He peeled it off the door and held it in his hands. He took a deep breath as he began recalling the events leading up to him giving Harry this note, 4 years ago, on the eve of Harry’s college graduation. They had gone to different colleges, about 5 hours away from each other and had kept up their long distance relationship during their college years.

Louis had graduated with a Bachelor of Architecture degree and had secured a job at the leading architecture firm in Washington, DC. Harry was scheduled to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts degree and was going to move back to the suburbs of Connecticut with his parents while he looked for a job. Louis had made the journey north to attend Harry’s graduation and had a very important question to ask him.

_“Lou? Are you here? I got your text message. I didn’t think you’d be here until later. I thought your train was getting in at 7?” Harry called out as he closed the door to the apartment that he shared with his best mate, Liam._

_He tossed his keys onto the counter as he made his way down the hall to his bedroom._

_“Lou?” Harry opened his bedroom door and stopped in the doorway._

_Louis turned around. “You’re early.”_

_“What are you- Wha? Lou what’s going on?”_

_Louis was standing on Harry’s bed hanging post-it notes on the wall, spelling out words. So far he had spelt ‘WILL U M’_

_“Could you maybe come back later?” Louis asked sheepishly._

_“Oh my god Louis! Louis! Yes! Of course I will! Of course I’ll marry you!” Harry yelled out before covering his mouth and crossing his room, heading towards the bed._

_“What? No. I don’t want to marry you.”_

_As soon as the words left Louis’ mouth he wanted to take them back. Wanted to reach out and grab them. Wanted to unsee the look on Harry’s face._

_“Oh god Harry, that’s not…I didn’t….” Louis’ voice trailed off._

_Harry turned and ran across the apartment and out the front door before Louis could even get down from the bed._

_“Harry! Wait!” Louis called after him._

_Louis stepped out into the hallway and saw the door leading to the stairwell slowly closing. He ran down the hall and through the door, calling Harry’s name._

_He finally caught up with Harry on the landing leading to the 2nd floor. He grabbed Harry’s arm and spun him around._

_“Baby stop.”_

_“Just let me go Louis.” Harry cried out, his face streaked with tears. “Let me go.”_

_“No! Please listen to me, please.”_

_Harry sobbed, unable to form sentences because he was so upset. “I….I….am….so….stupid.” He tried to break free from Louis’ grip._

_“What? No you’re not, Harry, baby, please, stop. I can explain, let me explain.”_

_He pushed Harry against the wall, who went willingly, too upset to put up a fight._

_“You….don’t….” Harry’s head fell forward and cries ripped through his body._

_Louis grabbed Harry’s head, forcing it up and held it in his hands, his thumbs caressing Harry’s cheeks, attempting to wipe away his tears._

_“I do want to marry you. Harry I want that more than anything. I love you.”_

_Harry shook his head. “No you don’t.”_

_“Baby I tell you constantly that I love you. You know that-“_

_“No you don’t, stop it!” Harry yelled before placing his hands over his ears._

_“Harry! Yes I do. Listen to me.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hands and pulled them away. “Let me explain.”_

_Harry closed his eyes, tears flowing and landing on his shirt, soaking the front._

_“I love you more than anything in this world, I love you more than I love myself. I know that I tell you all the time, but I need to tell you.”_

_Louis paused, feeling tears in his own eyes forming. “You are everything to me. You are the first thing I think of in the morning when I open my eyes and the last thing I think of at night before I close my eyes. When I have good news or a good day you are always the first phone call I make, always the first text message I send. Yours is the first voice I want to hear telling me ‘good job, way to go, I’m so proud.’ When I have bad news or a terrible day you are always the first phone call I make, always the first text message I send. Yours is the first voice I want to hear telling me ‘that sucks, I’m sorry, tomorrow will be better.’”_

_Louis intertwined his fingers with Harry’s and continued._

_“You are the only person that I’ve kissed and the only person I ever want to kiss. You are the only person that I’ve slept with and the only person I ever want to sleep with. You complete me in ways that I never knew I needed completing. You make me want to be a better man, a better son, a better brother, a better boyfriend. You once told me about the exact moment you knew you loved me, but I never told you mine. So I’m gonna tell you now.”_

_Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis, his sobs slowly._

_“We were on the junior class trip to Florida. We had been assigned to different rooms at that cheap touristy hotel. I was bunking with Sam and you were bunking with Charlie. But we wound up in my bed every night anyway. Do you remember?” Louis asked._

_Harry nodded slowly, remembering the trip._

_“It was our last day and we were packing up all of our stuff and I came across a brown paper bag in your duffle bag and when I asked you about it you simply shrugged and motioned for me to look in it. So I opened it and found all the souvenirs you had gotten. You bought gifts for your parents and Gemma, but you had also gotten my mom and Lottie gifts as well. But Harry they weren’t just any run of the mill souvenirs. You got my mom a snow globe because you knew that she loved snow globes and that she had a collection of them from all over the world. And you got Lottie a journal from Disney with her name on it because you knew that she loved Mickey Mouse and that she loved writing poetry in journals. Seeing those thoughtful gifts that you got for my family - when I didn’t even get them anything at all, made me fall in love with you all over again. I knew that what we have is something extraordinary, something that poets describe in poems, something that singers long to sing about, something that actors can only hope to portray in movies. Something that is constant, something that is strong, something that is forever. So when I tell you that I love you, don’t ever doubt that because I truly love you Harry, with everything that I have. I love you more than words can ever describe. Do you remember what I told you that last night when we were laying in bed? In that cheap hotel in bumblefuck Florida? Do you remember the promise that I made to you?”_

_Harry didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer._

_“You do, don’t you?”_

_Finally Harry nodded._

_“I held you that night, in that lumpy bed with the loud air conditioner that we couldn’t shut off, in that hotel room next to the highway and I promised that I was going to marry you someday.”_

_Louis began sobbing. “I am going to marry you Harry, I want to marry you, I want that more than anything. I want to be your husband, your partner, your forever. I want to raise a family with you and tuck our babies into their beds with you every night and I want to grow old with you and I want to love you forever. I want all that, I do, I want it so much. But Harry, now is not the right time. You know that right? We’re just out of college, you don’t have a job yet and we’re just starting out. I need you to know that one day I am going to marry the shit out of you and make an honest man out of you - but today? Baby, today is not that day. You understand right? Please tell me you understand.”_

_They stood in the stairwell, their hands intertwined, their cries the only sound. They stared at each other for a few moments when finally Harry spoke. “I….I understand. I just….I just thought….” his voice trailed off._

_“I know baby, I know and I am so sorry for saying what I said. I didn’t mean it, not in the least. I am so sorry. Baby, please believe me, I am so sorry.”_

_“I’m sorry too.”_

_Louis let go of Harry’s hands and wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck before crashing his lips onto Harry’s. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, pulling him closer_

_Harry opened his mouth at the insistence of Louis’ tongue. Louis ran his fingers through the back of Harry’s hair, gripping tight, making Harry moan. Louis could have kept kissing Harry in that stairwell for hours, but suddenly Harry broke their kiss, pulling back._

_“What….what were you spelling on my wall?” Harry asked._

_Louis smiled. “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” He shook his head and giggled._

_“I’m also thinking some other things.” Harry raised an eyebrow at Louis who pulled on the back of his hair, knowing how much it turned Harry on._

_Louis reached into his back pocket and pulled out a red post-it note and handed it to Harry. Harry left go of Louis’ waist with one hand and reached out to take it. He read it and broke out into the biggest smile. "Oh Louis! Are you sure? I don’t even have a job yet, you should -“_

_Louis cut him off. “You’ll find something, I know you will, you’re gonna make a great teacher and any school would be lucky to have you. And yes I’m sure. I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”_

_“Then yes.” Harry kissed Louis. “Yes I will move in with you.” He wanted to deepen their kiss, but Louis pulled back._

_“Now I have a question for you. What are these ‘other things’ you’re thinking about?” Louis raised his eyebrows up at Harry, who leaned down to nibble on Louis’ ear._

_Harry moaned a little and deepened his voice. “Let’s just say it involves me being inside of you for a very, very long time.”_

_“Oh.” Louis leaned his head back as Harry started kissing his neck. “We should. Um, we. Yea, we should definitely make that happen.” He grabbed Harry’s hand and lead him up the stairs to Harry’s apartment._

_They laughed as they ran through the hallway, closing the front door behind them, shutting the world out. It was only the two of them, in their own little corner of the world._

_Harry pushed Louis against the door as soon as it was shut, crowding into him. He tugged Louis’ shirt over his head, throwing it across the living room. He pinned Louis’ hands over his head with his left hand, his right hand slowly dragging across Louis’ chest. Louis threw his head back and Harry took the opportunity to bite the base of Louis’ neck. Louis moaned and tried to move his hands but Harry held him in place and whispered into Louis’ ear. “Be good.”_

_Harry’s hand reached the waistband to Louis’ pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them in one quick motion. Louis’ breath hitched and Harry went back to licking and biting Louis’ neck, leaving his mark, letting the whole world know that Louis belonged to him. Forever and always._

_“Harry.” Louis moaned, his head slamming against the door._

_“I’m right here baby. I’ll always be right here.” Harry responded, kissing down Louis’ jaw until his lips hovered above Louis’. He licked across Louis’ bottom lip, Louis attempting to deepen the kiss, but Harry wouldn’t let him. “Be good,” he repeated, the corner of his mouth turning up in a half-smile, half-smirk, his eyes never losing contact with Louis’._

_Louis would be good forever if it meant getting to have Harry look at him like this. Like he was the predator and Louis was the prey and that he was going to pounce and devour Louis._

_Just then Louis felt Harry’s fingers around his fattening cock and let out a loud moan. “Fuck.”_

_“Oh, we will.” Harry responded and Louis couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Harry started stroking him slowly and the only thing Louis could do was close his eyes and bite his bottom lip._

_“Look at you. So beautiful. So gorgeous. And I’m the only one who gets to see you like this. The only one who will ever see you like this.” Harry picked up the pace a bit and Louis’ hips jerked up. “I can’t wait to taste you. I can’t wait to taste every inch of you.”_

_“Harry, I’m gonna....” His voice cracked and faded. “Baby, you need to stop.” Louis panted._

_“Come for me. Let me see how beautiful you look when you come, just for me. Only for me.” Harry leaned down and licked into Louis’ mouth. “Want you so much. Want you all the time.” Their tongues tangled and the sounds coming from Louis were making Harry even harder than he already was._

_Their kiss turned very dirty, very quickly as Louis struggled to get his hands free from Harry’s grasp. Louis moaned into Harry’s mouth as Harry slid his hand up and down Louis’ cock. It was thick and heavy and Harry knew that Louis was close to coming based on the way his hips were moving frantically._

_Louis’ moans became louder and he began panting desperately. Harry let his hands go finally and they immediately began searching for something to grab onto, eventually landing on the front of Harry’s shirt, which Louis held onto for dear life._

_His hand now free, Harry ran his fingers through Louis’ hair roughly, landing at the base of his neck and gripping it hard. Louis could no longer hold back and began shooting thick spurts of come into Harry’s hand._

_They broke apart, breathless. And Louis looked up at his boyfriend. “Fuck.” He muttered after a few moments._

_Harry removed his hand, wiping Louis’ come on the outside of his jeans as he grabbed the back of Louis’ thighs, lifting him up. Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist and his arms around Harry’s neck as Harry led them down the hallway to his bedroom. He pushed Louis into the wall outside of his room, kissing him, Louis grabbing Harry’s hair. “Bed. Now.” Louis insisted._

_Harry slammed the door closed with his foot and walked them over to the bed. The back of his legs hit the bed and he fell backward, Louis landing on top of him. They looked at each other, speechless for a few moments. Louis knew how he must have looked - fucked, half-dressed, comed-out, pupils blown, lips red, hair a mess - but Harry looked at him like he was the most beautiful sweet creature in the world and all at once Louis was turned on again._

_“Do you have any idea how badly I need you right now? How badly I want you? How badly I have to have you?” Harry asked, his hands grabbing Louis’ ass. Louis felt helpless and could only moan as he leaned over Harry. He wet his lips with his tongue and crushed his lips onto Harry’s. He immediately probed Harry’s mouth with his tongue and placed his hands on each side of Harry’s head. Harry began massaging Louis’ ass harder and Louis started grinding his hips in response._

_Louis could feel his dick filling as Harry moaned into his mouth. All of a sudden Harry flipped them over, Louis underneath Harry, who began pulling his pants, underwear and shoes off, tossing them aside. Louis’ dick sprang free, hard and red and before he could comprehend what was happening, Harry swallowed him down and Louis let out a loud, sinful moan. “Fuck, Harry. Oh god. Oh god. Harry. Oh god.”_

_“That’s it, baby.” Harry encouraged him, bobbing up and down. Louis threw his head back and grabbed at the comforter, needing to be grounded. Needing to stay in the moment, here with Harry. Needing to be present, needing to enjoy every minute, every touch, every kiss._

_Louis felt Harry pull off with a pop and heard the bedside table drawer open as Harry fumbled around for one of the many bottles of lube that he kept there. Even though he knew what was about to happen, he wasn’t prepared for when Harry placed the pad of his finger at his entrance and started panting, breathless, moaning louder and louder._

_Harry leaned over Louis, placing kisses along his jaw and whispering into his ear. “I’ve got you.” He pushed one finger in and Louis grabbed onto his shoulders. “Oh baby, the things I want to do to you. I want to eat you out for hours, you know how much I love eating you out. Licking and sucking until you can’t take it anymore.” Just then Harry added a second finger and began working them in and out of Louis slowly, yet deliberately. “So, so tight.”_

_Louis’ moans turned obscene and Harry took that as a sign to add a third finger, scissoring them and crooking them until he found Louis’ spot. “I want to be inside you. I need to be inside you.” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear as Louis tightened his grip on Harry’s shoulders, bucking his hips. Harry started kissing and licking down Louis’ chest, until he made his way to Louis’ cock and licked the precome that was leaking from Louis’ tip._

_Louis was no longer able to form coherent sentences. “Harry….I’m ready. Baby I’m...I’m ready, please. Please, oh god….please, baby, please fuck me.” He was begging, pleading, but he didn’t care. He needed Harry inside of him, now and if begging was the way to make that happen, that’s what he was going to do._

_“Ok, ok, I’ve got you.” He gently removed his fingers from Louis. Louis whined at the loss and Harry leaned over to kiss him. “I know, I know.”_

_Harry quickly got off the bed and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down and freeing his dick. He tossed his shoes and shirt onto the pile along with Louis’ discarded clothes. He was trying to get his jeans off as Louis pawed at him. “Please.”_

_Finally, finally, Harry got his jeans off and climbed back on top of Louis. “God damn you are so beautiful,” Harry said as he lined up his dick to Louis’ entrance._

_“Harry.” Louis whined and Harry didn’t waste another moment before pushing into Louis. He just had his tip in, pausing for Louis to let him know it was ok to continue. Louis nodded and Harry pushed in the rest of the way. He completely bottomed out and waited for Louis to adjust. Louis felt heavenly and Harry had to take deep breaths to keep himself from coming immediately._

_Harry ran his fingers through Louis’ hair, resting them next to his head. He bent down and kissed Louis. “Ok?”_

_Louis nodded. “Yea, move,” he said as he gripped Harry’s forearms tightly. Harry pulled almost out completely and then thrust back inside of Louis in one quick motion. “Fuck!” Louis yelled out._

_Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist, allowing Harry to push in deeper. “God Louis, you feel so amazing.” Harry’s thrusts evened out and he found himself moaning at the feel of Louis clenching around him._

_“Don’t stop, fuck, don’t stop Harry. Don't stop. Please, don't stop."_

_Louis removed one hand from Harry’s shoulders and grabbed his cock, but Harry swatted his hand away. “No, untouched.”_

_“I….I don’t think I can.”_

_“You can, I know you can. You’re always so good for me. Always make me feel so good. You can.” Harry leaned over and his lips met Louis’. “Come for me, baby.”_

_Harry kept up his relentless thrusts and after a few more moments Louis was coming all over his and Harry’s stomachs. That was all Harry needed to follow Louis over the edge, spilling inside of Louis._

_“I love you.” Louis said, looking up at Harry and wiping the sweat from his forehead. Harry had a smile on his face, “I love you. Now kiss me.”_

_Harry knew that Louis would always kiss him. Knew that he was completely, helplessly addicted to kissing Harry, who tasted like iced coffee. Like spearmint. Like home._

Louis wiped the tears that had fallen as he remembered the night that he thought he was going to lose Harry forever. He replaced the red note on the laundry room door and hurried down the hall to their master bedroom.

He flung the door open and stopped in the doorway. “Harry! Baby!”

Louis finds their bedroom lit up by the flames of dozens of candles and his favorite bedroom playlist playing in the background.

Louis practically flies across the room and into his boyfriend’s arms. He wraps his arms around Harry’s neck and nuzzles in, smelling him, soaking him in. Even though they’d only been apart for 4 days, Louis missed him immensely. Missed his smell, missed his arms. Harry wraps his arms around Louis, breathing him in.

“Why haven’t you answered me? Didn’t you hear me calling you? And what’s with all the post-it notes? I can’t believe you saved them all. Like you saved them all! Even the sexy ones.”

Harry pulls back. “I….” He looks at Louis and takes a deep breath.

“Baby, is everything ok? What’s going on? Are you feeling ok?”

“Can you….can you just sit on the bed for a minute?” Harry asks, nervously.

“Yea, of course.” Louis lets go of Harry and makes his way to the bed and sits down. “You’re starting to scare me, are -“

Harry interrupts him. “I just….I have something I need to say, ok?”

Louis nods. “Ok.”

Harry walks over to the edge of the bed and stands in front of Louis, intertwining their fingers, palms gently touching. “Do you have any idea how happy you make me?”

Louis lets out a sigh of relief. “Good god, Harry I thought you were breaking up with me. What the-“

“You make me so incredibly happy and have since we were 7 years old and you gave me that first post-it note and became my very best friend.” Harry paused before continuing. “I never thought being with you would be so wonderful, we have an amazing life. I can tell you everything and anything and I know that you’ll support me no matter what. I am so incredibly lucky to have you. I realized as I was going through all the post-it notes that I’ve never given you one. In all these years it’s been your thing, for every occasion, for every milestone, for every everything. The small things as well as the big things, you’ve always been the one to give me one. But you deserve a post-it note too and so I have one for you.”

“You d-“ Louis starts.

“Can you just read it?” Harry reaches over to the nightstand, pulling of the light blue colored post-it note and hands it to Louis. “Please.”

“Of course, baby. Anything for you.” Louis says as he takes the note from Harry, his mouth widening in shock. When he looks back to Harry, he can see that he has gotten down on one knee and is holding a ring.

“Oh.” Louis drops the note and slides off the bed, onto his knees in front of Harry. He reaches up and wipes away Harry’s tears.

“I had a whole big speech planned out but it all boils down to this. I love you. I have for as long as I can remember and I will love you and only you for the rest of my life. I want you today. I want you tomorrow. I want you always. I want you forever. Louis, will you marry me?”

“Oh god, yes! Yes baby! My answer is yes! Today yes. Tomorrow yes. Always yes. Forever yes. My answer will be yes.”

Harry placed the ring on Louis’ ring finger and they join their lips together. Louis sighs into Harry’s mouth. Harry, who tastes like red wine. Like toothpaste. Like home.

 

****************************

6 years later….

“Louis, seriously baby. You have everything. You need to get going.”

“What about-“

“Daddy! I am gonna be late! And it’s the first day! I can’t be late on the first day of school! C’mon daddy! Let’s go!” A high pitched voice calls out from the front hallway, footsteps down the stairs following a moment later. 

“Ok, ok, ok.” Louis puts the Ninja Turtles lunch box into the Wonder Woman backpack and zips it up. “Here you go. All ready?”

He watches as his 5 year-old daughter comes running into the kitchen, grabbing the backpack and rolling her eyes at him. “Duh, I’ve been ready.”

“Ems, don’t roll your eyes at daddy. He’s just nervous.” Harry scolds. “You’re the first one to go off to school, so he just wants to make sure everything is perfect for you. Let me get one more look at you.” He picks her up and gives her a giant hug, kissing her cheeks before putting her back down.

“Sorry daddy.” She walks over and hugs Louis.

“Oh it’s ok baby. I’ll try and be better tomorrow.” He smiles as he leans over to give Harry a kiss good-bye. “I love you.” He turns to Emelia, “let’s go kiddo.”

“Bye Papa! Bye baby!” She waves to Harry and her baby brother as she walks out the front door.

“Bye love bug! Have an awesome first day! We love you!” Harry calls after her.

 *

10 minutes later Louis pulls up to the front of the school. He gets Emelia out of her booster seat and walks her up to the school, getting down to her level once they reach the front door.

“Ok. Have a good day baby girl. Behave for your teacher. Use your manners.” Louis takes her hands in his and kisses them both.

“I know. I know. Behave, manners. Got it.”

“I know you know but sometimes you need a reminder.” He gives her a kiss on the top of her head as he stands up and watches as she walks up the stairs.

But just as she reaches the door, she turns around and comes running back. “Wait daddy! You didn’t answer your note.” She hands Louis a bright pink post-it note and digs a crayon out of the pencil box in her backpack. “You have to answer it!”

“Oh, well of course. One should always answer their notes. Let me just read what it says.”

After Louis and Harry adopted Emelia he kept up the tradition of the post-it notes, leaving them all around her bedroom.

Some were funny, like the ones that read ‘will you please go to sleep?’ Or the one that read ‘will you please stop throwing up all over me?’ Or even the one that read ‘will you please stop having meltdowns?’’

Some were heartfelt. Like the one that read ‘will you stay little forever?’ Or the one that read ‘will you still be my baby even when you’re 40?’ Or the one that read ‘will I be a good dad?’

Now it seems as though Emelia has continued on the tradition as well. Harry must have helped her write it because everything is spelt perfectly. That makes Louis smile even brighter, knowing that she wanted it to be perfect for him.

“Crayon?”

She hands him the red crayon and watches as he checks off a box and hands them both back to her.

He picks her up and gives her a big hug and whispers in her ear, “Yes. I will always love you no matter what. Now go kick some kindergarten butt!”

He breathes in her scent, the smell of her shampoo. She smells like strawberries. Like vanilla. Like home.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Reader,
> 
> Well, you made it.
> 
> Thank you for reading my fic, for reading what has been an absolute pleasure to write, for reading 9K of what goes on in my brain. You are amazing, wonderful, awesome and I love you!! 
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Melissa  
> hadtobelou on tumblr


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